Life and Death

Five days ago midnight, my wife and I were sitting with my son and his wife in the waiting room at the hospital waiting for the results of a surgery on my 16 yr old grandson. The operation to remove a tumor was scheduled for 8 hrs and was already into its 15th hour. Clearly there was something wrong and the parents were frantic to the breaking point.

Finally informed that the operation was over and the doctors were ready to meet with us. Their word was that this was one of the ten most difficult procedures out of the 1000 they had ever performed. We almost lost the boy and there was considerable danger of a relapse for the next 72 hrs..

The following days were very chancy, but today we brought Brett home. He is in for a long period of recovery, but is doing well.

Sometimes I question my time spent over the years in meditation and sitting with the dying, but it was that experience that helped heal this family. The massaging, meditating and imaging carried the day when all was chaos. This is not a tribute to me, but to the disciplines I have followed which calmed and healed. I am very grateful.

Choosing Attachment

Certainly attachment brings pain, but it also brings love and joy ... the feeling of being alive.

In the end we have to give up everything of course, but that time has not yet come and today I choose to feel the pulse of blood in my veins and the fire of desire in my groin. Life is a great gift not to be denied.

Back From the Grave

So yesterday my close old canine friend could no longer stand up and the time came to part company. He had been going down hill for several months, so I called the vet and dug the grave while going through the pain of separation.

Later I was sitting in the house when Raleigh walked in on all fours as if nothing was happening. He had even climbed the stairs and later I took him for a walk.

The only thing I can figure is that he figured out what was happening and it lit a fire in him. Anyway, he is sleeping peacefully at my feet as I write and the vet has been cancelled.

There must be a lesson in all this.

Goodbye Al

My hospice patient for the past year, Al died today. The strange thing is that I didn't grieve the ending as it was long past due. Al's consciousness was gone and all that remained was skin and bones. 

Life is not a thing, it is a transitory event like a good meal that is consumed in the process of eating. Thank you Al, for sharing yourself with me this past year. It was a privilege to be with you in your final hours.